Define Yourself Before They Define You

“Just be Yourself,” They Say. Wrong! Define Yourself Before They Define You

According to a study by Harvard Health & Sciences, within seconds, a person who meets you will have judged your income, level of education, and even your level of success. And that’s based on meeting you in the flesh.  Imagine how that translates to your self-produced business videos.

Influence and persuasion expert Olivia Cabane states that “You only get one chance to create a good first impression. Within a few seconds, with just a glance, people have judged your social and economic level, your level of education, and even your level of success.”

Like it or not, your viewer will make favorable or unfavorable instantaneous decisions about you.

 

 “Within seconds they’ve also judged your level of intelligence, honesty, competence, friendliness, and confidence. Once a first impression is formed, you are stuck with it”

How do you want to be perceived by your Target Audience?

What do you want people to see, hear, and feel when they discover you on video for the first time? That is the “anchor” by which they will judge every subsequent exposure to you. You want them to perceive you as the go-to thought leader in your space, right? If so, you must not leave this to chance. Rather, you must clearly position your thought leadership by design.

In order to optimize your first impression, you must focus on 3 core areas:

    • your appearance
    • your voice and
    • how you physically express yourself within the confines of the camera frame

Anything short of the mark creates a less-than-optimal first impression about:

    1. You as a person
    2. Your professionalism
    3. Your offerings

Whether it is your presentation itself or the video production quality, anything that is perceived by your viewers as inferior is more likely to be judged harshly.

 

“There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first time, and I owe him my best.”— Baseball legend Joe DiMaggio

 

Why You Need to Sweat the Small Stuff

It’s your face representing your personal or business brand, and often it’s the little things that will undermine you. In order to be persuasive, you need to control the visual information you portray on screen. It is the subtle things that many presenters overlook (or are unaware of) that can powerfully influence your viewers on a subconscious level, and negatively impact your trust and credibility.

Human beings unconsciously evaluate hundreds of pieces of information every second and make decisions without being consciously aware of it. They just “get a feeling” about a person, and then look for evidence (confirmation bias) to confirm that feeling.

 

Your Target Audience has Expectations

People take cognitive shortcuts to make snap decisions about what they see on screen. Your goal is to have your target audience instantly get a gist of who you are. They will quickly judge whether you seem honest, and make assessments about your credibility. You need to quickly demonstrate that you have their best intentions at heart.

Advertising agencies cast people who look just like the intended target user for the product or service. Customers who identify with the actors or models in appearance, social status, and background will be influenced to view the brand favorably.

You need to make it easy for your target customer to psychologically “get you” so they engage with you and your message positively. They need to visually register and emotionally identify with the physical image or the “type” of person they see on screen.

You need to manage how you come across on screen so your audience doesn’t have to guess, or worse, jump to the wrong conclusion about you.

 

“You had me at Hello”

No matter what your skill set, your target audience will have expectations about how an expert should look, sound, and behave in the context of your work.

For example, if your airline pilot showed up at the departure gate with a poorly fitting uniform, untidy hair, disorganized carry-on luggage, and an overly casual demeanor, these first impressions might give you a hint of doubt about their competence. You would hesitate. You would look closer to confirm whether or not you fully trust this person to be your pilot.

Work this in your favor. Discover ways that you can prime your viewer to see you as trustworthy and knowledgeable in your field and instantly build trust and rapport on screen.

You want your audience to perceive you as a credible expert right from the outset, before you even say a word, and be ready to pay full attention to your message. If you make your persona one that they themselves would like to emulate, you have done your job perfectly.

 


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You will be Judged by your Appearance

As in life, you will be judged by your appearance and how you conduct yourself and show up for yourself.

Humans are genetically programmed to “like” attractive, healthy-looking people. Like it or not, good-looking people are more likely to get your vote, get hired, get promoted, and get favorably treated by the justice system. There is also the “halo effect” where we automatically believe that good-looking people have the traits of talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence. This unconscious reaction makes us assume “good looking = good” or “What is beautiful is good” (APA Eagly, Ashmore, Makhijani, Longo 1991).

This may seem terribly unfair, but there is good news. No matter what your genetic inheritance is, there are production techniques and on-camera skills that can enhance your appearance, your voice, and your physicality on screen.

 

“How” you deliver your message is actually more important than the message itself.

 

Realize that You are a Continuous Transmitter

Your face and body are like a continuous transmitter. You reveal your feelings to your viewers as they change from moment to moment at the rate of several thousand signals per second. Your audience picks up on your feelings, and Harvard research suggests that “how” you deliver your message can be more important than the message itself.

Mirror neurons

At the time of writing research findings suggest that we tend to mirror or copy what we see (a human survival mechanism), attributed to firing mirror neurons in the brain. They can make us automatically empathize with the people we observe. For example, when someone smiles at you on the street, your mirror neurons are likely to fire back an automatic smile. When you see the fear on someone’s face, you may begin to feel fearful or some form of psychological disturbance yourself. When you see someone who is frowning or looks angry, you may become more aggressive or irritated. We tend to “mirror” what we see.

Which is why…

 

“The emotions you express on-screen will determine the extent to which people will trust you.”

 

Whatever You are Feeling, your Audience will Feel it too!

Humans evolved this special ability over countless generations to help us determine friend from foe and to help us display the correct emotion to match the social situation.

We don’t watch a person’s face and think about their intentions, our subconscious brains automatically tune into their feelings. When it comes to your video presentations, whatever emotion you are feeling, thanks to mirror neurons, your audience will automatically be feeling it too!

If you feel nervous and tense about appearing on camera, or your eye-contact with the lens is slightly off, your audience will be nervous and tense watching you. If you are using the wrong type of eye-contact on screen, you can appear emotionally disengaged, aggressive, or even creepy!

 

Context is Everything (dispelling the buzzwords “Be Authentic”)

In life, there are many versions of our “real selves” i.e. how you behave in front of a Judge, your clients, your work colleagues, etc differ from how you behave with your best friends or family.

How you show up depends on the situation, your perception of yourself, your job, your confidence, your motivation, and of course, other people, and the roles they play in that environment. Context is everything.

Context-dependent, we use different verbal and nonverbal cues to broadcast ourselves. What we say, how we say it, our facial expressions, our body language and gestures, the clothes we wear, and how we try to control our environment, all combine to create the desired impression.

In life, it’s a common human tendency to present selected information about ourselves, a process called “impression management” (2). Fundamentally, we present ‘selves’ to people in an attempt to control and manipulate what others think about us in order to get our conscious and subconscious needs met.

In my experience, the generic advice for presenters to “be authentic” is just an empty, meaningless buzzword. Try it yourself with the following exercise: “The Roles that You Play” at the end of this post.

 

 Authenticity is often a manufactured construct – we present ‘selves’ to people in an attempt to control and manipulate
what we want others to think about us in order to get our conscious and subconscious needs met. 

 

The Authenticity Mask. A Plan to Manipulate You (the Viewer)

The advice “be authentic” is in itself an agenda to manipulate the audience. Filming styles or formats like the “raw and real”, “candid”, “unplugged”, or “behind the scenes” is often used to make a presenter or brand more relatable and appealing to the target audience.  “See, I’m just like you! I care about the same values you do!”

Or they reveal personal information to appear more vulnerable, sharing “dark night of the soul” stories about their past dramas, or stories about personal transformations – with little thought given to the impact on the viewer regarding survivorship bias or the many cognitive biases.

Presenters and brands often manufacture authenticity to influence the reactions and buying behaviors of the audience.

Mainstream advertising and public relations (PR) also use this tactic. Where the “talent” (actor or model) seems to be “real” people engaged in their environment, oblivious to the presence of the camera.  Their physical characteristics, wardrobe, vocal tone, message, and overall production look and feel are all designed to sell the message or drive the “authentic” agenda. The contrived candidness can make the viewer less conscious of the fact that they are watching a sales or marketing message and are being sold to.


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Our Behavior Changes once it’s Observed

The “Observer effect” (1) is a scientific phenomenon that shows that the act of observing changes or influences that which is being observed. When we present to the lens, we are “being observed” by the camera and our potential audience. We know that we are being watched so we behave differently. With the “Observer effect” in play, it’s highly unlikely that true authenticity can exist in front of the lens.

In some instances. being observed can heighten background critical self-monitoring thoughts that can trigger negative changes in our physiology – this can also have an impact on our behavior and how we come across on screen.

From a visual perspective, the closest you could get to “being authentic” is the REAL YOU that rolls out of bed in the morning, messy in all of your morning glory, with hair fairies, and early morning breath, and totally unaware that you are being filmed.

Obviously, this is probably not the best visual representation to convince, influence, and persuade your audience.

Sure, your current customers and raving fans may be less forgiving, because they know what you stand for, and may even forgive you for a less-than-stellar video viewing experience. However, new viewers who discover your video content outside of your web platform, or out of context, and are seeing you on screen for the first time may not be so forgiving.

 

 The audience comes first.  It’s not about “being yourself” – it’s about being your “best self” and bringing that version to the screen  

Takeaways

    • First impressions are crucial. Remember that within a few seconds, your viewers have judged your income, level of education, and even your level of success
    • It’s doubtful that your prospects will want the real, raw, average version of you
    • The market does not pay top dollar for average. Rather they’d want and pay for the very best of you. Wouldn’t you?

Bring your Best-self to the Lens

To give compelling online video presentations, here are some resources to help you:

Remember – the audience comes first. When you are filming your own business videos. It’s not about “being yourself” – it’s about bringing the intentional, fullest expression of your best self to the screen.

If you have a question or you what me to cover a topic for you let me know. And, you can always book a time with me to get the tailored support and guidance you need on any of the performance areas covered in this post. See below for details or learn more about my services here.

 

 

 

 Exercise: “The Roles that you Play” on authenticity 

  • List the numerous ways that you alter your behavior over the course of a week
  • How does your behavior change around people you know vs those you don’t?
    • How does it change around those whom you perceive to have more or less power, wealth, beauty, recognition, fame, and success? Or anyone or thing that triggers social or status anxiety in you?
    • Note any affected behavior that you use around others, i.e. smiling when you don’t want to, appeasing others or wanting approval, wanting to stand out or be noticed. What strategies do you use? i.e. speak louder, showboat, etc  
  • Note the different tones of voice, speaking style, and the types of words that you use
  • Note your posture, your breathing, your gestures i.e. small, confined, expansive, closed-off, blocking, etc
  • How much do you open yourself up to rejection, discomfort, and separation from the herd?  How much do you march to your own drumbeat –  independent of the opinion of others, your friends, family, and society?

These are only a few aspects of the many ways we present our numerous “selves”. Also, think about what would happen if you did not modify your behavior during a situation. What impact would that have on you, your career, family, lifestyle, goals, network, etc?

(1) The Hawthorne effect (also referred to as the observer effect or viewing effect) is where individuals modify or improve an aspect of their behavior in response to their awareness of being observed.

(2) E Goffman – The Presentation of Self Everyday Life


 

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